Why I Left Big Law: Burnout, Motherhood, and Building a Life That Actually Fits

Leaving Big Law is often framed as a dramatic downfall or a courageous escape. In reality it was quieter than that. More like a slow realization that the life I worked so hard to earn didn’t actually fit the woman I was becoming.

I didn’t leave because I couldn’t “hack” the Big Law game. I have more finesse than that. I left because I quickly realized the cost of I was paying for that title would quickly cost me my health, mental peace, and shave years off my life. That cost was too high.

Big Law gave me prestige, top-tier training, and a front-row seat to how power and money actually move. It also gave me chronic exhaustion, a warped sense of productivity, and the persistent feeling that my life was happening around my job instead of with it. Truthfully, it was HELL. I couldn’t go anywhere without my work laptop. The constant pressure to be available at a drop of a dime was threatening everything I loved and valued.

And once I became a mother, that dissonance got louder.

The Truth About Big Law Burnout

Big Law burnout doesn’t arrive as a breakdown. It arrives disguised as achievement.

You’re praised for being responsive at all hours.
You’re rewarded for sacrificing weekends.
You’re subtly taught that rest is a reward, not a requirement.

At some point, I realized I was optimizing my life for my employer (yuck!), timelines I didn’t control, and success metrics that didn’t care whether I was well—only whether I was available. I couldn’t do it anymore.

Motherhood Changes the Math

Motherhood didn’t make me less ambitious. It made me more intentional. I started asking questions I never had the space to ask before:

• Who benefits from my exhaustion?
• Why does success require constant self-abandonment?
• What am I modeling for my children?

Once you see that misalignment, you can’t unsee it. More importantly, I didn’t want to ingrain the toxic lesson I learned along the way: you only get rewarded for as hard as you work. Instead I need to mirror to my children that yes, it’s important to have a strong work ethic, but rest and recovery is equally as important.

What’s Next For Me?

Truthfully, I don’t know. A part of me wants to give Big Law another chance. I entered as an M&A attorney and had zero interest in that field. A part of me wants to experience being a litigator at the Big Law level. What I do know is that, my next job won’t have me chained by the golden handcuffs, will allow me to be a present and active mother (even if seasons fluctuate), and most importantly, won’t shrink who I am and allow me to pursue personal interests.

Leaving Big Law wasn’t a failure.
It was a strategic pivot.

If You’re Considering Leaving Big Law

Here’s what I’ll say: you’re not weak for wanting more life and less grind. You’re not “throwing it all away.” You’re allowed to outgrow the dream you once prayed for. Sometimes success isn’t climbing higher, it’s stepping sideways into alignment.